This week was a very interesting one. Both my doctors (Liver and High-Risk) both told me interesting news to say the least. Let’s start with high-risk. We spoke last week on my bile acid and it’s affects. My little cub will now be born crazy early. I mean I knew this was coming because I am a high-risk but it just sucks to hear at the end of the day because it’s like you want everything to go perfectly and you don’t want anything happening, especially when you can not control it. If it was happening to me, then yeah okay fine… the fact that this now affects my son… yeah, crazy momma bear came out. I will be induced and scheduled to deliver him. So sometime around February or March, that’s when I’ll know when, where, and what time Logan will be coming out. I’m nervous about the induction because I’ve heard a couple of different ways that they can induce you and I have 0 pain tolerance. So, believe me when I say, I will ask for ALL THE DRUGS! I don’t stay still when I am in pain and I will pull away at every chance I get so they better give me a damn bear tranquilizer to calm my ass down. I guess it sucks that I won’t be able to naturally have my water break and freak out at 3 am while scrambling around to get to the hospital but then again I think I’d rather be safe than sorry. Since they will need a liver specialist, my high-risk team, blood specialist… i would rather be closely monitored than a free bird. Now, I am super close with my liver doctor. He was around since 2011 and he’s the only doctor I’ve kept around because of how serious he takes my condition. I can ask him real questions and he will tell me real answers even if it’ll make me cry. So the first question was if a natural birth or a c-section was better. He explained to me in patients with coagulation difficulties there is no data to back up a natural birth. So he will be surprised if they were to deliver me that way. With a c-section, they’ll be able to stop any excessive bleeding and be able to monitor how much blood I will lose, but they could also cut a part that will make me bleed even more. So both parts are equally as scary but a c-section is definitely the way I’m gonna be going. I am too high-risk to put my baby at any risk. I was a c-section baby and it saved my life. I’ve heard moms battling about natural and c-section saying that c-section is “the easy way out.” Bruh? Do you not see that scar that comes with it?!? I’m terrified for after because of course I’ve been doing my research and I know I’m gonna be in a hell of a lot of pain and I feel so bad for my parents and Erik. (GOOD LUCK TO YOU THREE AND I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE) I’ll also have to stay in the hospital longer than a regular c-section birth which is 4 Days, I’ll be in the hospital for let’s say a week, week and a half. They’ll have to monitor my blood loss, monitor my liver function, stabilize me back on my medication and also make sure that I can function. Plus lots of sonograms, MRIs, cat-scans of my liver (oh joy, like a baby ain’t gonna come right outta there). It’s definitely been a week of information and lots of emotions flying around with my OCD and my need to research every little bit of what’s going to be happening. Logan will come early, but I know my little cub will be fine.
I can’t wait to meet you our cub;
*photo taken by PocketPhotoz *
There it was. At my doctor’s office. A little stick telling me I was pregnant. “What the fuck.” I replay that moment again and again in my mind absolutely mind-blown that I could ever be pregnant. About 10 minutes later, I go and speak to my doctor who I told her I was between options because I’m 25. I live at home, I do not have my own apartment and I don’t feel ready at all. Never the less I really did not think I could get pregnant. I always wanted a kid but I just thought since I have this rare condition that is basically eating away at my liver, I didn’t think this body, my body could handle a pregnancy at all. So I gave up that dream thinking it was just fiction. My doctor told me that this was a miracle I was pregnant, if I were to do anything then I would not get pregnant again. It was even puzzling to her as I was pregnant because once again, rare condition plus I equals no baby. I was scared, frightened and did not know what to do in all honesty. This is me being completely and fully transparent to everyone who is reading this because no one is ever ready to have a kid. Even my mother told me that night as I spoke to her on what I should do, that I wasn’t planned. I wasn’t really in the set plans for them as of that time. But right now I’m living with wonderful parents and I’m happy. I spoke to my boyfriend and we agreed to continue. At that time, we were together but not officially since I did not want to put any labels on who or what we are. I did not want people in my business regarding him and I just rather have kept us, us. Well that quickly out the window. It’s hard to really open up with something like this because my peanut was not planned, but God knew what I needed before I even did. I was at a really dark place in my life that I just couldn’t shake from. I didn’t know who I was nor did I even recognize myself on the inside. This pregnancy is not an easy one either. I am extremely high-risk and going to see three or four doctors a week. I take daily injections in my stomach twice a day so my blood does not clot anywhere near the baby and my peanut will 100% be premature. It’s hard to hear these things and keep it all together while being strong. Some days I really just give up, want to lay in bed and cry because my body may be hurting, I may be going through a horrible flare up, I may be hurting in some places and I have pregnancy symptoms which are not fun what so ever and not even close to it. Being pregnant, I have a new found respect for anyone who goes through this. I even have a huge respect for women who have illnesses and go through this because it’s 2x harder. God knew my boyfriend and I needed peanut. Everything happens for a reason, and peanut will always be my reason.
Now, It Works. I recently became my own business owner as I am a distributor for a brand called It Works. Most people have heard of it and you know what I hear out of their mouth? It doesn’t really work, it’s a scam -__- . I first became a customer of It Works in 2016. I was extremely skeptical of the brand as well but I showed support because that is the type of person I am. I brought the It Works System for 3 months and I began it. I was not going to let those things go to waste! By the end of the 2nd month, my waist was snatched, my mood increased and I felt amazing! So for everyone saying it doesn’t work, have you tried to for yourself? I got amazing results and I fell in love with the brand. I went through difficult times during the rest of my 2016 so I just put it on a back burner and continued with what needed to be done. Until, I saw a blogger that I follow and she was a part of It Works as well. I thought to myself, she helps people in more ways than one. *think think think* I began researching how to actually be a part of this brand. How do I help people as I was helped? Then one night I went to a networking event and BOOM! I see a woman with an ItWorks Bag and a card. I made it my mission that night to speak to her. I spoke with her, we exchanged facebooks and the next thing I knew, she was my coach, someone I definitely look up to and someone who inspires me every single day. I love what I do currently. I make systems for people regarding what they PERSONALLY want to do with the It Works brand. I personally reach out and be a health coach for them (I’m a jack of all trades, do not debate me) . I love the people I’ve met so far and the people that I will meet in the future. So before you say “It doesn’t work” how about you try it out and see if it really doesn’t 😉
The Prego Wrap Girl, N. Rarity
when I was a young girl, I always thought I was one of the boys. I would play football, baseball, try to play basketball, I would wear baggy clothes and always hurt myself one way or another. While you’re young, you think that if you can get back up after you hurt yourself, that’s strength, that’s you being unbelievably strong. What you don’t know is once you start getting older, being strong comes in the form of heartbreaks, losing friends, going through life changing events, or getting through life through the most difficult times you can possibly imagine. You have to fight with everything you have to keep standing strong, you put your mind to something and you keep that goal in your mind knowing that this is where you have to get to, that is where you need to be. For most people with chronic illnesses, every day you wake up being as strong as you can. You fight each and every day to wake up and make it through the day. I’ve realized in time that I’m a fighter. I have fought over and over again for my health, my sanity, my peace. Most people may think I’m not strong but I’m stronger then you could ever imagine. I fight with all my power and all my might to achieve the things I need or want done. You have to keep pushing and you have to keep fighting for what you want and deserve. This does not just go for chronically ill either, this goes for everyone who struggles, anyone who doesn’t feel strong enough, anyone who needs that little bit of hope to get them through the day, well this is it. Everyone is strong in their own way and can battle any obstacle that comes in front of them no matter how hard or tough life might get. Keep pushing through and never give up because you might think it’s the end of life as you know it or feel like it but it’s not. The only way to continue to go is up.
Keep being strong,