*TRIGGER WARNINGS; Suicide*
As you all know this is the popular Logic song that’s out now. What some people do not know, is that it’s the suicide prevention hotline. In this song, logic starts off in a first person perspective of how he is feeling, how he is out of his mind and his life is not his. It starts off in the perspective of someone who isn’t happy with their life and maybe thinking of suicide.
Then it transforms into second person on how he sings that he wants the other person to stay alive and they do not have to die. While including Alessia Cara’s soft voice, she sings that things are not easy but you can pull yourself back up. This song has spiked up so many calls to the Suicide Prevention Hotline that it has been possibly life-changing for some.
Now, why am I blogging about this? As to be open as possible on my blog, I have had suicidal thoughts. I know people who have as well. Life isn’t easy, life is really fucking hard. Taking everything all at one is really tough on a person and they might not have the ability to reach out to people or believe that others may judge them. I always felt alone, in such a hole that I could not dig myself out. I started getting deeper into my suicidal thoughts once I was diagnosed. I told myself, who wants to live like this? Who honestly wants to feel so useless and hopeless with a condition that will not be fixed? I would become depressed, trying to go out to heal my depression but just got further and further into my depression that it intensified until I knew I couldn’t think like this. Life is filled with so many great, amazing things to be thinking of how you would want to hurt yourself. You have to pick yourself up and tell yourself that you can do it and you are stronger then you could ever imagine being. Life will become beautiful for you, life is hard but it’s how you take it which makes you stronger and stronger each day.
So to anyone who was ever thinking, currently thinking… just know that people love you, people will be there for you to pick you back up. There are good humans in this crazy world that just want to make others happy and want to make sure others are okay before themselves. Keep your chin up and if anyone ever needs to talk, my inbox is always available.
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
• Christian D. Larson
when I was a young girl, I always thought I was one of the boys. I would play football, baseball, try to play basketball, I would wear baggy clothes and always hurt myself one way or another. While you’re young, you think that if you can get back up after you hurt yourself, that’s strength, that’s you being unbelievably strong. What you don’t know is once you start getting older, being strong comes in the form of heartbreaks, losing friends, going through life changing events, or getting through life through the most difficult times you can possibly imagine. You have to fight with everything you have to keep standing strong, you put your mind to something and you keep that goal in your mind knowing that this is where you have to get to, that is where you need to be. For most people with chronic illnesses, every day you wake up being as strong as you can. You fight each and every day to wake up and make it through the day. I’ve realized in time that I’m a fighter. I have fought over and over again for my health, my sanity, my peace. Most people may think I’m not strong but I’m stronger then you could ever imagine. I fight with all my power and all my might to achieve the things I need or want done. You have to keep pushing and you have to keep fighting for what you want and deserve. This does not just go for chronically ill either, this goes for everyone who struggles, anyone who doesn’t feel strong enough, anyone who needs that little bit of hope to get them through the day, well this is it. Everyone is strong in their own way and can battle any obstacle that comes in front of them no matter how hard or tough life might get. Keep pushing through and never give up because you might think it’s the end of life as you know it or feel like it but it’s not. The only way to continue to go is up.
Keep being strong,
Depression: feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
Depression is an extremely sensitive subject. Most people brush it off, most people deny that they even have it, and others…. take the situation into their own hands. Depression is not a game. It is not something you can just push to the back of your mind and act as if it is not there. It’s real and it’s dark.
For me, depression is a dark cloud that just covers my judgment and I try to swat it away with always going out. It does not help what so ever. Being alone, with depression can lead you into deep memories or deep thoughts that send you into a breakdown. Luckily for me, I have severe anxiety, I get emotional breakdowns and when I’m depressed… it ends up feeling as if the entire world is against me and I won’t be able to break out of it. You can fight, fight, fight, but what good is the fighting if it leads you nowhere? The same thing happens when you try to avoid it all together and you just end up running yourself into a corner, staring it straight into the face and eventually giving in to the dark cloud. I’ve seen people actually be judged for being depressed and I have also been one of them that have been judged and it’s another kick me while I’m already down feeling. For me, I am lucky to have family and friends by my side doing no matter what it is to keep me going. Even though I am a huge loner when I am in one of my funks, no one ever leaves my side.
Depression is definitely a real thing to talk about. It’s a real thing to deal with in general because the person who is going through it just feels like they are in quicksand and there is no way out. But, from experience, there are ways out. There are so many other options and hobbies to dive into that you end up experiencing life. My biggest depression fixer is my little guy. It must have been fate that brought him and I together but every day I come home to his face and I know that I’m always perfect in his little eyes.