Little Lo

Hey everyone!  Did you miss me?  I know I missed writing and now it’s so hard to find time to actually sit down and write because of Mister Logan but I’m here!  I’m five months postpartum on Saturday and things have been crazy!

Logan is five months on Saturday.  I can’t believe it, I’ve been a mother for FIVE months.  There are times I want to rip my hair out, times that I feel that I’m doing everything wrong, times that I can’t even console him… but then, there are days where his smile lights up my whole world, his laughs brighten up my day, when his huge eyes just stare at me and then he begins to smile is when I know I’m the best mother I could be for him.  He had a rough beginning.  For 51 days he was in the NICU, thankfully he was extremely strong and surpassed every thought that I had and stood most of the time just waiting to start feeding from a bottle.  When I thought he wasn’t going to get out of the NICU by the time my disability was going to end, he surprised me and came out of the NICU about 3 days before I was scheduled to start my paid family leave time so he surprised me none the least.  Logan has gone from this 3 pound baby, who barely cried and opened his eyes, to this 12 pound carnivore who screams when he wants to be fed and never has his eyes shut unless he is sleeping.  Being a preemie mother is hard, the trauma of not being able to take your little home meanwhile you get to rest every night in your bed is hard but now he’s been home for three months and has been the center of attention.  It’s amazing how much I could love another being and always talk about him and show people pictures of this cute little twin I have.

As for my condition, I was very sick after Lo was born.  I had bile fluid in my stomach which made me look 6 months pregnant still, I was extremely anemic to the point the doctors were terrified for me, I had a scare in which my nose didn’t stop bleeding for about 12 hours from a tiny scratch in my nostril and I had to go through a few ER visits.  I had a procedure called paracentesis which is when they use a HUGE damn needle to remove fluid from my stomach.  It hurt, I was awake, and I NEVER want to go through that again.  But after that along with water pills that my doctor prescribed me, I lost 50 pounds.  I was 180 and now I am down to a steady 130 which is 10 pound less than what I was pre-pregnancy.   My condition is currently stable, I am following up with my doctors every 3 months and I am finally trying to switch to new blood thinning medication in which I will not have to go get my blood checked every single week.  So here’s to hoping that the new medication works for my liver and me.

I promise I won’t disappear anymore and I’ll be on top of this blog like Logan is on his bottles!


Peace, Love & Lo

  • N. Rarity

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Nina Marie is a 25 year old Bronx native. She has her bachelor's degree in English Literature and she is working on her master's in Early Childhood Education. She has a love of Disney and animals. She was diagnosed with Budd-Chiari Disorder, Myeloproliferative Disease, and a Jakk-2 Mutation at the age of 19. While going through several surgeries and most doctor's appointments, she realized that the best way to get through this hard time was to put it out in the open. Thank You.

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