Injections.

This is my life currently.  Wake up, injection, work, commute, injection, sleep.  I hate needles.  I despise needles.  I always have since I was younger.  I used to cry and cry whenever the nurse would come out with the flu shot or my yearly physical examination.  It did not matter how old or young I was.. I hated them.  It wasn’t until 2011, that I lightly concurred my fear of needles because every single day they would have to take blood from me for multiple examinations.  I gave up, after a while I just gave into the pain except for these injections.

These injections are called Lovenox. The “less” serious side effects are nausea, diarrhea, fever, swelling in hands or feet, and mild pain or swelling where the injection occurred.  Which means, your skin is basically burning off while it is being injected into your body.  How nice isn’t it?  When I first got the shot, was in my stomach and I swear to anything I wanted to punch the hell out of the nurse who did it.  No warning of the burning skin but she just injected it and 5 seconds later I was screaming bloody murder.  My cousin was getting upset because I literally screamed at the top of my lungs in the ICU because it hurts.  I always had to get the injections twice a day and each time my parents had to actually hold me down so they were able to inject me.  I couldn’t take the pain.  It feels as though your skin is burning from the inside out and you become numb.  I get sleepy and automatically am able to pass out because of the pain.  Now, what is it given for?  Lovenox is used to treat or prevent a type of blood clot called deep vein thrombosis (DVT), which can lead to blood clots in the lungs (pulmonary embolism). A DVT can occur after certain types of surgery, or in people who are bed-ridden due to a prolonged illness.  W h i c h  E q u a l s  M e. Why do I take it in particular?  I suffer through this pain for my baby.  I suffer with the bruises on my stomach, with the burning, with the rough patches of skin now located on my stomach due to so many injections for this peanut.  The first time I had to do it on my own, was in my car.  I sucked my breath in, and continuously told myself that this wasn’t for me yet it was for my miracle.

Another way that my pregnancy isn’t an easy one.  My boyfriend sees me inject myself and I see his face of surprise.  I mean who really wants to inject themselves with drugs while pregnant?  I don’t think anyone does but I’m trying to be the strong survivor I know I can be.

All the strong mamas… Keep being strong.

N.Rarity

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N.Rarity

Nina Marie is a 25 year old Bronx native. She has her bachelor's degree in English Literature and she is working on her master's in Early Childhood Education. She has a love of Disney and animals. She was diagnosed with Budd-Chiari Disorder, Myeloproliferative Disease, and a Jakk-2 Mutation at the age of 19. While going through several surgeries and most doctor's appointments, she realized that the best way to get through this hard time was to put it out in the open. Thank You.

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