Flare-Up

Let’s discuss the term “flare-up.” The definition of a flare-up is a sudden outburst of something, especially violence or a medical condition and in this case, I believe we know which is mine. I often get flare-ups if I do not get enough sleep, if the weather changes drastically, if I continuously go out, if I take an airplane, or if I just breathe the wrong way. The worst part about it is that I could go to sleep one day perfectly fine and the next day I feel like my body has been run over with an 18 wheeler. It’s hard to function throughout the day while you’re going through a flare-up because honestly all you want to do is stay in bed and not move throughout the whole day.

Currently, I’m going through a really tough flare-up. If you look at the main picture, you would think I look fine and there is no chance that I could be sick! WRONG! I was in so much pain and felt so sick but I managed to get through it. I do not know how it started, it could be the fact that I have barely had a day to rest in my bed curled up into a cocoon, but this is a hard flare-up. Remember the spoonie theory I introduced a couple posts back? Well counting spoons is a no go because I wake up in the morning with zero spoons at all, which means I have zero energy and zero will to even get up out of bed. That is the worst thing about having a condition and/or a flare-up. You wake up in the morning with no motivation and even when you find a little tiny bit of it; it’s gone as fast as you found it. With me, I wake up around 6:30 am to feed my puppy, go back to sleep for about an hour or so, get ready for work to leave my house by 9 am, to work from 11-7 and to get back home at 8 pm. So basically, I am dragging myself throughout the day to be out of my comfort zone for about 9-10 hours and even when I get home I either go out to enjoy my life or just go right to bed because my body cannot handle the pressure. What I am going through now is constant back aches, migraines, weakness, throwing up, stuffy nose with constant nose bleeds, chills, looking like I haven’t slept since 2016 and the list goes on and on. This is one of the worst flare-ups I’ve had in a while and all I want to do is sleep when I cannot even do that as much as I want to because weekends are my only free time for me. While you’re reading this you are probably wondering why I don’t just take pain medication and call it a day. Well, I can’t, it’s not as easy for me as it could be for someone else. Tylenol does not work anymore due to the years of using it and I am not allowed to take any other medication at all which leaves me with the only choice: Deal with it. So while you sit there, just remember everyone who LOOKS healthy may not be and everyone is going through their own struggles that sometimes can’t be easily fixed.

Thanks for reading.

– N. Rarity

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